Peanut butter and Jess

  My dearest Sunshine  What a year it has been. I honestly do not know where to start, a rollercoaster of emotions, lessons, lovely memories and growth. I am just going to make a list of things I am grateful for and have learnt along the way.  Trust yourself. Blindly believe that you can do it. Being realistic is essential but not all the time, blind delusion, faith and hope. Trust you, your mind, your body and your willpower. Most of all trust God, or which ever higher power you ascribe to.  Learn to let go. It is easier said than done but sometimes it is needed. Let go; the good, the bad, the hate & hurt. Evolve. Change is the only constant in life, let go, move on and evolve.  Do it. Do something, anything, fight and push through. Life is too short to give up on yourself so soon. Hurt happens, joy is temporary, heck life is temporary. Live it a day at a time.  Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. That is something I have decided to live by. We ...

  Alright, it's been 4 months. I know I promise consistency, I did not say I would commit to it though. A lot has happened so let's get to it? A new job came this July, it was unexpected but I did take the chance to expand my horizons and what not. and it's safe to say I am happy with where I am. I have a lot to talk about, a lot on my mind in the sense that I  have forgotten how to process things, I have grown so numb now all that i can choke out is laughter for all the situations I find myself in.  First things first, WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED??? like is there some sort of pact going around to marry as quick as possible? Am I the only one who finds this odd? Like I am touchwood completely happy with myself… like i am content, satisfied even to my hearts content. The thought of sharing my space, a space that I have struggled to give myself, the place that I have felt so cautious to take up, I finally have it and I LOVE IT! Big props to the people who share ...

The Latest Chapter Well I’m back. Let’s get into this fools charade shall we?  It has been a while since I have written to you. Apologies are in order. I've taken a break from working.      It has been a bit of a wild ride since then. A few months back I realized I needed a change. Clueless as to what that change would have to be, I started to analyze every aspect of my life. My job, though fulfilling, also left a bit of a void in me, kind of like Sisyphus. you do the same things, the same route to work the same walls, the same hurdles. An infinite loop, but you slowly realize it's not a loop. but a maze. A meandering maze that drives you mad with the same doors and puzzles. Life is hard but honestly it does not have to be so dead end. Go out.. Live a little. Life is too short for you to succumb to it.       Money is essential, yet when you die, you cannot take an ounce of it. We are all ashes and dust at the end of the day. I sound morbid, I know...

  Hey Sunshine! A new month is upon us and I cannot help but be filled with a sense of joy and peace. I have so many new things to talk about. I am about to get into a rage filled word vomit of all the things that have been bothering me As I sip on my hazelnut coffee and listen to Hozier I just feel the sense of clarity that makes me see things in a different light. A light that I was not able to feel or attain a few months ago but this new found clarity is intriguing. IS THIS CALLED GROWTH? IS THIS WHAT FRONTAL LOBE DEVELOPMENT FEELS LIKE? Because I love it! Ok first things first. This may or may not offend people but I live for the drama. Why are people emotionally underdeveloped? It is giving caveman brain and it is quite frustrating. You cannot physically keep calling yourself masculine/feminine without having the qualities to back it up. Some people are just so caught up with being this ‘victim’ it is so frustrating to even hold a conversation without them completely rui...

  My dearest Sunshine,      It has been a fair while since I have written to you. A lot has happened this past month. So much has changed. As we reach the end of this year, I cannot help but be filled by a sense of peace but also loneliness. I have won some, I have lost some but the journey has certainly been rewarding. Took my wins alone, swallowed my losses by myself and hey I did survive. It was a year filled with lessons on adulthood, friendship, responsibilities and growth. I have also realized I have become Carrie Bradshaw in the past weeks, where I relate to her on so many levels. Be it the writing or the incessant love for shoes and getting stuck in cycles of emotional unavailability and wasting my time. Work has been rewarding in a way that drives my ambition. Things I have taken away from these past months include: 1.     You are too much for someone. You are also just enough for someone else. You will not be enough for another person. Don’t...

  My Dearest Sunshine! It has been a month since I have written to you, how are you my dearest? How were the rains in your area? Wow time does fly huh. A lot has happened in the span of a month, I have learnt so much, gained so much, lost a bit but overall, it’s been a great month. I have learnt this month to be grateful for everything I have and cherish in life. It has been a humbling experience to take a step back and breathe and look at the bigger picture. I realized I had been stressing over all the tiny details so much that I missed what the bigger picture looked like. Work has been extremely rewarding, six months of hard work finally paid off. I was able to launch LEAD. A project that I had spent many a sleepless night over, yet it has been truly enjoyable to work with different people and bring to fruition something that was just a running idea in my mind. I feel that is the biggest lesson I have learnt, focussing on those ideas working on them putting effort and energ...