Honesty, Hugs & my girls

 

My dearest Sunshine!

How have you been? Has 2024 bought you good things? dead mice? Or does it feel like the same old life?

Today’s topic, embracing change. Change is scary. Change is also pretty awesome. Based on how you decide to see it. Of late I have been thoroughly enjoying the sanctity of friendship. A lot of times I find myself yearning for a sort of love and companionship, unaware of what I exactly want, I end up chasing what I do not need.

            I do deeply believe that there is an emotion attached to friendship that is shared between people of the same gender. Do not get me wrong, but there is a sort of divinity when it’s a table filled with women, laughing, sipping on drinks, eating food in dainty bites and intently listening to each other. This past week I had the chance to witness women, mothers, their daughters all sit around a table, enjoying food laughing their woes away completely unaware of the world around them. That resonated so much with me and the personal experiences that I have got to share with my girls. Whisking me away for a quick mid-week lunch where we catch up on all things life, fashion, work over burgers, dumplings and boba.

            Gosh I love being a woman! It does not get said a lot but I love it. I love the laugh till you cry, I love the ‘hey I carried an extra scrunchie for you,’ I love the tea breaks where we sneak out for a brownie, I love the sappy paragraphs where we express our love for each other in stickers and emoticons, I love the ‘I got you chocolate for your period,’ I love the hugs that are so tight I can’t breathe. I love huddling over a mirror, sharing lipstick, doing each other’s hair before clicking a picture. I love holding hands while crossing the road, carrying bags when they are heavy, I love the video calls seeking approval for clothes and outfits. God I miss and love so much of being a woman.

            There are some things that you can only truly enjoy in the presence of your friends. The reality check they delve into and the interventions that act as a wake-up call. The true joy when they see you succeed and the joy they share on a regular Wednesday is beyond me. I realize now I have spent days and months cribbing over not being in a relationship, not having someone, in reality I have had the honor of being a part of treasured friendships that support me every single hop and limp of the way.

`          Truly there are other things to talk about and this may not be something you can relate to, but todays letter goes to you my rays of Sunshine. The golden rays that embrace me in their warmth, giggles and love. I miss my friends and being in the comfort of their presence so much. The one thing I do love a lot about social media is you can always look back at the milestones and the memories, and now when I do remember and see, the immense love, panic, tears and support that my friends pushed me through and all I can be is grateful for everything.

            Life humbles you at times, pushing you into an unknown void throwing you curveball after curveball. Suddenly everything feels overwhelming, the score is decreasing, sweat is insane, the pressure increases, your eyes shift to the crowd, to zone into your people cheering for you on top of their lungs, pushing you to the light. To experience that love, has left me speechless and with a sort of peace that has seeped into the crevices of my parched heart.

 

            To all the guys reading. I am aware the bond you share with your closest friends is something similar to this. An experience that does not really compare to anything else. To be vulnerable, open, and to find joy even in the most painful moments, truly friendship has to be everyone’s first love. I hope you have that too Sunshine, the type of peace that I have, I pray it finds you as well.

Sending you all the love and hugs

Jess.