Gratitude, Grandfather, The Grinch

 



My dearest Sunshine

Its Jess again, how are you doing? Sorry I have not been able to write to you these days, I haven’t been myself lately. Here I am now, ready to info dump you and shower you with some love and warmth.

Things Jess has learnt these past 16 days

  • Ø Patience
  • Ø Value
  • Ø Importance of food (the good kind)
  • Ø Fear
  • Ø Finding strength
  • Ø Killing cockroaches
  • Ø How to not loose my cool (Though I did multiple times)
  • Ø How to run in the dark
  • Ø How to drive without cussing (Jokes on me I did cuss)

Learning is a steep curve. A curve that somehow makes me trip and fall flat on my face every now and then, but that does not mean I am not going to learn, unlike my Duolingo progress that has been halted. I also realized, cockroaches take around 5 smacks to fully die and get squished.

Christmas season is finally upon us! I spent the past weeks attending a Christmas concert with my dad. In true family tradition, we were a bit late, but listening to all the carols really defrosted my soul (temporarily).

Today I am going to indulge you in a lovely Christmas story, the one that featured my super cool grandfather. When I was smaller, younger, and a lot squeakier, my grandad would come back home with gunny bags full of groceries, cakes and other goodies. We would wrap them up, as a family, staying up all night to distribute the next day. A few years passed, I grew older grandad was more resigned to his arm chair, we still enjoyed decorating the Christmas tree, making cakes, where Thatha would taste for sweet, spice and everything nice. He would eagerly await carolers, as we opened out homes to friends, family and music. Towards the end, him and I would duet ‘Silent Night’ and belt out tunes to Boney. M. Its going to be 7 years since he left us, every day I look for him in people I meet. I miss his hugs, his voice, and with every milestone I cross, I look back to see his slightly duller memory that I am keeping alive.

All said and done, like Thatha Christmas is my favorite time of the year. From the music, to the food to the people and to the decorations. Christmas is the one time where I actually defrost and enjoy the holiday season.

Do you have a favorite Christmas memory? If you do, tell me I would love to hear about it. Honestly sunshine with this cold weather, all I want to do is cuddle up with a book and drink hot chocolate. Here I am though, working 60 hours a week. Now regretting every decision, I have made. Yet regrets are good I feel. It is only if you know the bad and ugly, will you value the good. Prioritizing what you need and what you don’t, de-cluttering my brain, unclenching my jaw, dropping my shoulders and taking a few deep breaths every couple of hours, has yielded the benefit of me looking like an anxious oversized Dumbo in public. I have finally been able to catch up with my friends the last week. Enjoying lunches, hot chocolate and coming back home to the beauty of a warm home cooked meal that a lot of people have missed with the rains and cyclones.

I’m grateful for this year, and all the things it has given, thrown, shoved, pushed me into, dumped on, sprung on, tipped over and hurled at. Most of all, I am so happy and grateful I got to meet you, my Sunshine, my peace, my happy place. I hope 2024 brings us good things, sunflowers and more. 

Oh! and Merry Christmas ya filthy animal. 

Love

Jess.

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