Peanut butter and Jess

  Hey my Sunshine! Its Jess, again, your loyal admirer. I hope the past days have been kind to you and I hope you had the chance to enjoy the small moments. Have I ever told you how much I love your smile? It truly brightens your face, and your eyes are filled with joy. The past week has been me basking in the concert the voices in my head decided to throw over the pettiest things. Yet I figure overthinking does usher in a certain level of logical reasoning. I have always stuck out like a sore thumb from a young age, when you are an only child, you hop onto every bandwagon hoping it leads you to the destination you are seeking. So, I dove deep, into the worlds of football, basketball, hip hop, movies, pop, K-pop (don’t ask) and a plethora of series. Still, I don’t think I have found a singular interest I can keep other than my consistent love for murder mysteries and reading. Have you ever felt like an outsider in your own body? Trying to figure out who or what you are? That ...

My dearest Sunbeam, Hey, how are you? How was your week? A bit better? My week was filled with a bit more downs than ups. I’m hoping it was just a rough week and not a rough patch that I have to power through. I’ve binged watched Women’s Murder Club on YouTube, again but mostly because sometimes work gets quiet and I don’t have that spirit of confrontation in me yet to go and face the voices in my head. Last time I wrote to you, I spoke about how hard it is for me to set boundaries. Every time I do take a step towards mending my mental health, my poor choices show up to guilt me back into back tracking. But somehow Sunshine, talking to you has been one of the few things that keeps me sane. I look forward to keeping meaningful relationships afloat. Sometimes that takes a lot more strength, courage, coaxing and memes. After joining work, I do feel like a fish out of water. Finding common ground with people who aren’t remotely close to what you do is a tad more on the arduous side...

  Hello Sunshine, Its me again. How was your week? Mine was quite eventful. I took on new responsibilities at work, as rewarding as the prize seemed heavy is the head that wears the crown. Though in my case the crown is more of a replica of the one you get at Burger King. The past week I realized a few things. Some childish, some m0re serious. I hope you have seen the movie ‘How to train your Dragon’? well I realized, Toothless aka the Dragon and Stitch from ‘Lilo & Stitch’ are kind of the same. Hear me out Sunshine, they have similar blueprints but different and varied executions. The second realization I had was the brevity of relationships. Friendships, lovers, people you meet. Sometimes not everything has to last right sunshine? But the heart wants what it wants. Setting boundaries is a new thing for me. I’ve always been a people pleaser with people who I want to please, and most of the time that ends up with me overfilling the other person’s cup with unresolved memor...

  Hey Sunshine, After a lot of thought and mulling over ifs, what’s and what ifs. I’ve decided to document my everyday musings onto this virtual landscape in hopes that my head, heart and soul can finally rid itself of the gunk it has been accumulating. To give a bit of background to the characters in my life including myself, this periodic collection will try to hold together all the bits and pieces I so frequently sweep under the bath mats my mother places at the door. I will also acknowledge that for years I belittled pink because it never looked good on me, but pink is also a lovely statement (Post Barbie mostly) and I have fully started to embrace all my female whims and fancies in hopes that somewhere someone can find a cord of resemblance to find a level of relatability to. At 22 somehow life has managed to throw a couple of curve balls and a lot more Pennywise infused surprises my way, life does have a lovely way of sneaking up on you. The purpose of this blog is somethin...